Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Adam Lambert, How Do I Loathe Thee?

Let me count the ways.

No, actually, let me let a poster from Television Without Pity count the ways. Props to my friend Linda for sharing this with me: (And to my friend Amy for correctly pegging Adam's dated look as "My Chemical Romance, circa 2005." And then helpfully explaining that "Usually American Idol is 10 years behind the zeitgeist.")

And once again Adam screams his way into peoples' hearts. Except mine. He screamed, screeched, yelled, made too many unnecessary frills and runs and swoops, overdid it, fucked me with his range without even buying me dinner first (seriously, put it away, dude, it's not impressive if you don't know how to use it, no matter how big it is), and when he didn't do that, he was too busy moaning and humping the mic stand, making rapeface eyes and generally trying far too hard to act like he's sexy.
He gave this air of "Do you like cake? Do you like my ass? Do you want to eat cake off my ass?" No I don't. Go away. Take your hideous v-neck shirt with you. It doesn't look good on any guy, even an attractive one. Shoo, you 80's hair band reject wannabe.

OK, I feel much better now.

And I'm just so happy that my boy Anoop showed up last night. First Slumdog Millionaire, and now this.

Anyway, as for predictions. I'm having a hard time with this because of the Megan factor. I think she deserved to be bottom three, and DialIdol seems to confirm it, but wonder if a sympathy factor -- both on the part of voters and of the producers -- might come into play. (Oh, and check out this gem, which says the final four are predetermined, as I've long suspected, which makes these weekly predictions even more hopeless.)

My gut says the bottom three are Allison, Michael and Megan. DialIdol says Alexis, not Michael. I'm going to say it's the end of the road for Allison. (And because I don't have a pool and don't actually have to narrow it down, the alternate scenario is that it's Alexis in the bottom three and perhaps even going home, and she'll be "saved" by the judges.)

In the mean time, I'm going to try not to have nightmares about this face.

1 comment:

  1. I missed the actual show, but caught the clips last night. I wanted to literally pull my hair out, strand by strand, while they played the short clip of Adam killing a good song. Maybe slaughtering it would be a better term. Seriously and OMG, his hair with the eyeyliner and the general, "I'm going to kill you in your sleep...or at least give you a good scare when you wake up and see me" is freaky. And, total props on the "80's hair band reject wannabe", I am so going to use this now!